Moming

Overwhelmed and Shutting Down

July 8, 2019

So – hello there – it has been some time since we last talked.

Life came and kicked me in the ass.  It was a time of extreme and rapid change.  Lots of anxiety.  So instead of reaching out for help, I went dark.  Why the hell did I do that?  The time I needed support the most, I retreated.

I went OFF THE GRID.

Ok so not literally Off The Grid.  I was not connecting with nature, knitting my own clothes and churning butter in the forest.

I shut down my connectivity both electronically and socially.

Sometimes there is value in going OTG.  Sometimes we all need a break, need to be still, need to get our soul right.  This is not one of those times.

I realized that I cannot do this alone any longer.  I need you.  I need help.  I need hugs.  I need wine.  I need you!

Without boring you with a long detailed sob story, I will boil it down for you…

See Link here for video: WHEN LIFE TAKES YOU OFF THE GRID

Hubs got a new job in Cali and left to start work.

I was left in North Carolina with my kids.

Sold our house in North Carolina. Lived in a hotel.  Moved to our condo at the beach.

Bought a house in California.  Hubs fixing up the house – not ready for us to join him yet.

My mom sold my childhood home – packed her up and moved her overseas.

Now the time has come – in a few weeks we will pack up the beach condo in North Carolina and drive across the country to move to California.

So there is a part of me that says – great – soon we will be settled and not living in this state of “temporary”.  There is another part of me that is scared shitless to move to a new home/city/community.  I have to start all over again in a new place.  It is this weird place of feeling excited and anxious at the same time.

Then there is the reunion with hubs.  What is that going to be like?  Will be good for the kids.  But what will it be like for me?  We have been apart for so long.  So many things have happened during the last 8 months that we have been apart.

Do not get me started on how I feel about packing up the condo and driving with 2 kids and a dog across the USA.  Packing is one thing but the drive… oh my.

Gosh this is so lonely.

Oh my gosh am I actually posting this online?  Should I hit the delete button.  My first reaction is to shut it down and retreat.  But I need to put myself out there.  I need to be raw and real.  It is ok to need support.  It is not a weakness.  I do not have to do this alone.

Do not let me go OFF THE GRID.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Brooke
    July 9, 2019 at 8:35 am Someday you will look back at this and think what a strong person you were! It’s easier said than done - but try not to worry about what happens next. One day at a time!
    • Reply
      admin
      July 12, 2019 at 10:38 am There are days i feel like superwoman and other days more like supermess. But I have 2 great little messy crazy motivators who keep me going. I can find the strength to do anything for them. thank you for sticking by me Brooke as I ride the roller coaster! Need a new cocktail recipe!
  • Reply
    Kimberly
    July 9, 2019 at 5:09 pm Have Wine, Will Travel
    • Reply
      admin
      July 12, 2019 at 10:36 am that is my motto!
  • Reply
    stephanie s.
    July 11, 2019 at 8:16 am My 3 kids and I just went on a two week tent camping/cabining/hoteling adventure all throughout the new england states. My van was packed to the gill and we had no real agenda, except places I wanted to go and places I wanted them to see. I used an app called "road trippers" and made it an adventure. I can honestly say it was the best vacation I have probably ever taken... and definitely not the easiest (putting up tent, taking down tent, loading van/unloading van!). But there was something about us being together seeing things for the first time that made it so worth it!! I think you should make it an adventure across the US. Look for all the fun things to do and to see and take your time! You won't ever have this time again :( It will be something that they never forget! and most importantly, don't worry about what if, or when. Enjoy the time you have today - today. Take one day at a time and let all other days be in the future, and you can address those items when those days come! Worry about nothing, pray about everything!
    • Reply
      admin
      July 12, 2019 at 10:43 am worry about nothing - pray about everything! I LOVE THAT! Sadly, hubs can only take a few days off of work to help us drive across the country. So the trip will be non-stop driving with little opportunity to explore. We do hope to visit some family along the way though. Short visits. That is not to say that if there is something spectacular that we need to see that I wont beg hubs to pull over. I will defintely check out that app! great tip! Thanks for all of your support!
  • Reply
    Hillary
    July 11, 2019 at 10:48 am Thanks so much SNL for sharing. You got this! You are one of the strongest women I know. Love you tons!
    • Reply
      admin
      July 12, 2019 at 10:35 am winging it! love you heaps hilly. smootchiehugs.

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