Moming

Mother’s Day

May 7, 2018

 

The most disappointing holiday for a mother.  Husbands always fall short, assuming they actually remember.  Kids throw together gifts last minute as an afterthought.  All the while mothers remember the sacrifices they made getting pregnant and carrying a child and the BIRTH!  Lets not even talk about the 18 + years of care that follows.

When my first kid was born I had such high expectations of that first Mother’s Day.  Then crushing disappointment ensued.  Every Mother’s Day following was more of the same.  “What do you want to do for Mother’s Day?”  makes me want to poke my eye out with a fork.  I know that dads/kids cant read mom’s mind and know what she wants to do to celebrate.  So for a while I dropped hints.  Then I started telling them outright what I wanted.  Then it just got depressing that nobody would put any thought into honoring me and it felt like they didn’t care.

So then I started buying myself my own Mother’s Day gifts.  One year I bought myself  some jewelry.  One year I bought myself a Dyson vacuum.  One year I even got my car detailed. Buying my own gifts seems to be the solution for me.

Then there is the silent desire to be left alone on Mother’s Day.  Sit in blissful quiet alone without having to care for anyone but myself.  I have visions of laying in a hotel bed or airbnb binge watching tv and taking myself out to dinner.  But then the kids feel like mommy would rather be without them.  Conundrum.

I will admit that I have been a terrible daughter.  I too was a terrible lazy ungrateful daughter.  Things change when you become a mom and witness first hand what it means to BE a mother.  To this day I struggle with what gift to get my mother or what celebration to plan.

So I go online and search.  Google.  Pinterest.  Etsy.  Amazon.  So much cheesy stuff out there.  Tacky stuff out there.  I kids you not I got an email from the Dollar Tree with ideas for mom.  Picture frames and candles … really?  Mugs? Really.

Here are some Mother’s Day gift suggestions from the web for 2018:

I kid you not …

27 Last Minute Ideas for Mom that will arrive in time for Mother’s Day

20 Cheap Mother’s Day Gifts

These are not too bad …

40 Best Mother’s Day Gifts by Good Housekeeping

45 of the Best Mother’s Day Gifts of 2018 by buzzfeed

History Lesson:  Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908.  It became a US National Holiday in 1914.  Anna Jarvis had originally conceived of Mother’s Day as a day of personal celebration between mothers and families. Her version of the day involved wearing a white carnation as a badge and visiting one’s mother or attending church services. But once Mother’s Day became a national holiday, it was not long before florists, card companies and other merchants capitalized on its popularity.

Listen to me!  And all of my whining!

So this made me think.  Mother’s Day started out simple and pure.  Then it grew into a monster.  Moms started to expect more.  Moms started to compare themselves to other moms.  Moms started to feel disappointed.  Facebook and Instagram and Twitter do not help matters any.  Why all the drama?  A simple gesture of a flower and time spent with mom – that is all we really need isn’t it?  So this year, I am going to tell my family that we are going to change how we do Mother’s Day.  I want it to be simple and pure again.  White carnation and time spent with mom sounds beautiful.  Playing together and having fun.  I will however, prep hubby that it would also be nice to have a break from some mommy duties that day.  Sounds pretty darn good.

To those women who struggle with conceiving children or have suffered a pregnancy loss.  I remember the days I was struggling with infertility.  Mother’s Day was the most painful day of the year.  I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  I felt so flawed.  I felt so sad.  I yearned desperately for a child.  So many mothers being honored.  I couldn’t even go to the grocery store without being wished a “Happy Mother’s Day” by the grocery checker.  It was brutal.  Know that I am sending you love and prayers for your peace.  You are not alone.  Hang in there and do what you have to do to survive the day.  Be gentile with yourself.  Wine and ice cream may not heal your pain but it can at least it is something.

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